"My future depends on this learning" or "yes, it's eighth grade, but it still matters"

My future depends on this learning

When I wake each morning, wipe the sleep from the corners of my eyes, I am not sure quite how to greet the day.

The first thing I think, is how much I want to return my head to my perfectly molded pillow and sink back into a simple, dreamless sleep

but then,
I think about my dreams
what do I want to accomplish in my seemingly thus far, unaccomplished life?

It's eighth grade
but maybe today my future depends on this learning
Maybe today my life will begin
Maybe today my otherwise uneventful life will become
forever eventful

Today I may discover my calling, or perhaps I will discover that girls don't really like it when I say mean things about them.
Today I may find out that I really understand math, and that when I look my teachers in the eye, they appreciate it.
Or perhaps, I may find that I the pants I wore to school have a huge hole in an unsightly place.

But either way, maybe today

Maybe today my future depends on this learning
my future
depends
on this
learning

This learning may be grammar and syntax, or how to wink without closing both eyes

But either way, maybe today

My future depends
on this learning

We are holding up air

We are holding up air

she said she would haunt us and we laughed
welcoming the haunting from her

will she haunt me in the kitchen; the recipe books worn with wisdom?
flour and water mixing with the starter bringing the perfect sour the next morning

will she haunt me in the garden?
sweet raspberries each summer with a dollop, or two, or three, of fresh cream on top

will she haunt me driving down the mountain?
the perfect push on the clutch and the gears grinding right into place

will she haunt the paths, the beach, the agates glimmering in the sun?

will she haunt the hummingbirds? bumping their heads against the skylights, laughter and squeals coming from those who attempt their capture and release

her haunting will be in the wind, the rain, drenching the garden and bringing it to life
her haunting will be in the crunch of sand between little toes, watching for otters
her haunting will be in the first cup of coffee, keeping hands hot with a warmed cup
her haunting will be in the sunlight bouncing off the water and peeking through the lofty branches onto the deck

her haunting is and will be

without her, we are holding up air and welcome the haunting as we laugh

April 1, 2013

Here I am

You don't have the right.

You don't know me.
Here I am.
Woman, talented

You don't have the right to treat me that way.

Intelligent
Musical
Planner
Writer

Do you know?

Do you know who I am?

Who gives you that right?
Surely it isn't God given.
Surely it isn't purely because of your DNA.
Surely it isn't what your mother taught you.
Surely it isn't your age.

Do you understand me?

Do you know what I mean?

You don't have the right.

My rights are clear.
I stand for what I believe in.
I stand for respect.
I stand for safety.
I stand for justice.
I stand for peace.
I stand for music.
I stand for love.
I stand for understanding of all people, all situations.

I know.
I have the power.
I have the respect.
I have the abilities, talents and skills.

I know.

Frustrations

Communication
lacking, lagging

Frustration
boiling, bleeding

Questions
brewing, breaking

When I ask myself why certain situations cause me pain and anxiety, I am left with no answers, but just more questions.

It is so frustrating to be frustrated...stressful to be stressed.
My mind races, my heart pounds, my ears turn red.

"Because you have yet to learn this skill", or, "For my students on a Friday afternoon"

Listen

I said, LISTEN

Because, when I speak, you should understand that the words coming out of my mouth may not be perfect, but they will affect your future.

Listen, because even though you think it’s boring right now, in 10 years you will thank me.

Listen, because what I say right now, may never be said again, and what I say 10 minutes from now could determine the rest of our lives.

Listen

To

Each

Word.

Each

Phrase

Each

Inflection

It matters

You think you know

You think, you have all the answers, to all the answers, to all the answers

What you don’t know, is I have a secret

The secret

In fact

To decode those answers

Those questions

You know, the ones you are afraid to ask

Every day

The questions that creep into your dreams, that scare your friends, that your parents don’t want to answer or won’t even entertain.

I have the secret

Do you want to know what it is?

Are you curious?

It is slowly seeping in

Your brain is twirling

Connections

Right, left, forward, back, reverse, no, just a little further.

There it is, you found it.

Listen

Emily Woodall

March 1, 2012

Sway

Before she knew how to dance freely

She used to sway back and forth to the music

only keeping time

but not truly letting her soul soar

When the music swells, her heart jumps keeping time with the drummers feet, hands and breath


It is not the booming beat, but the sound of soft voices coming together to form one
two, three
harmony
long fingers grace the black, in between ivory and glide
slow, slow then race down and back up again to land on that perfect blend
one, two
two and four the hands slap together, feet land and mouths open


she cries, soul singing, voice echoing and arms rising
it is when soft voices come together
to form
one


Before she knew how to dance freely, she used to sway back and forth
but these days, 
her heart opens, into the light, dark and spaces in between, mouth open, song pouring out and feet moving, arms flying
soul singing
soaring
swift, slow, sweet sensation


Emily Woodall
March 5, 2012

Toxic

Mistake
toxic
lonely and desire conspiring
easy to move
easy to love
easy to regret

broken?

No

but to live another day
stronger
more understanding of

lonely and desire conspiring
hard to stay
to feel
love, regret

honesty takes over
desire and lonely
dissipate
friendship, unconditional love
respond
respect
reduce hurt and harm

Mistake
healthy

Untitled

Actions speak

it is not the words that can build our character

Character is built
Yes
but by the actions

the subtle meaning is found
yes
found in the actions

Actions are loud
move people to change
peace
love
community

actions are

flowers blooming even after they are cut
love blossoming even through pain
friendships growing
turning the corner
recovery

Speak

Speak through the hands, the eyes
the legs running fast to get to...
action

is it fair
is it love
can it be changed
molded
grown, even out of the sidewalk

Actions speak

Papi

Can you see me?
flecked by blue, orange, red
feelings of sadness, hurt and anger

Can you see me?
I am both ragged and strong
torn and healed

Can you see me?
New as the day I was born
torn down by my home
revived by my environment

Can you see me?
I am beautiful and loved
blood once again rushing through
my body oxygenated by hope

Can you see me?
Once crying bewildered in the corner
I stand
tall
proud
unique in my experience

Can you see me?
It is the Woman that built this man
each day fighting
struggling
sustaining
through tears - black
fears and blue

Can you see me?
I am, today
oh yes
I am
Change in the making
sorrow turned joy
hurt turned love

Can you see me?


By: Emily Woodall - April 30, 2010

Inspired by a piece of art created by a teen at a domestic violence shelter.